As you are well aware, I tend to think about the future… a lot. I wonder where I’ll be, what I’ll be doing, who will be my side, how it will all happen, when it will play out… and on and on.
But the other night, as I tossed and turned thinking about—well, what else, my future—I realized something. Something significant.
I thought back to where my life was ten years ago. I was in a completely different spot to where I am now. No surprise there. But as I began to make a mental list of all the changes, travels, traumas, celebrations, disappointments, losses, gains, laughter, tears…
I got overwhelmed. I mean I got really overwhelmed by it all.
If someone had pulled me aside ten years ago and listed all the events and moments I faced ahead of me, I would have felt frantic. I would have felt there was no way I could handle the pain, accomplish the successes and be who I am and where I am today.
I would have laughed at some of the things revealed, cried over others, but yes, mostly I would have been overwhelmed—that so much life could happen in those years.
The how would drive me crazy. How would that happen? How would I do this or that? How would I handle it all? How would I get from point A to point Z?
How, how, how?
After a few deep breaths, I stopped myself from thinking about the past and went back to thinking about—well, the future!
But something shifted. I thought that maybe if I could hop in my DeLorean and make a quick visit to the future, I wouldn’t want to know it all, after all.
Maybe I’d see myself, where I’ll be, what I’ll be doing, who will be my side, how it will all happen, when it will play out and maybe it would just overwhelm me. Maybe it’s better if I am left a little in the dark about the future so I can focus all my light on the present.
How about a compromise, Universe? Some hints seem innocent enough, right? I wouldn’t mind that. I don’t see the harm in tiny glimpses. 🙂
Thanks for the revelation. I’ll remember it next time I find myself worrying too much about what’s ahead.