Cheers! Sending you a cup filled with good vibes!
“You must surround yourself with the right people for where you are in life. In order to do that, start by being your most authentic self.”
Over the past few years something has become apparent to me.
Not everyone around you wants to be walking the same path as you.
At first, this bothered me. Why can’t the ones we love and hold dear be with us every step of the way? Why as we move forward on our journey, spiritually growing, evolving in different ways, do we sometimes lose relationships that once were so valuable to us?
There are so many answers to this question. Mostly, I think it stems from fear.
Some people won’t like seeing you change—even if it’s for the better, even if you’re reaching for your highest truth. Those people want the same old you. They’re afraid you’ll be so different they’ll lose the person they love. They worry that if you’re changing maybe that means they should be too.
Change is scary. Being honest, soul-searching, and making a transformation on any level—spiritual, intellectual, physical—is hard work. Here’s the thing: not everyone is up for the work at the same time you are.
(And another thing: some people are content with where they are and don’t need to undergo a life transformation. You need to accept that too!)
Back to their fear. This fear can manifest itself in lots of ways. These people you love may start to resent you or even get angry towards you. After all, how dare you move on without them? Why can’t you just stay in the same place they are at?
Of course they won’t say that! Most likely you’ll find yourselves fighting over something so inane and then poof! The relationship is done. You need to recognize the relationship didn’t end because of one silly fight. It stemmed from something else. The moment you can know this truth, the moment you can continue to move on, guilt free.
Because move on you must!
The thing is if you’re not changing and growing—if you’re ignoring what feels true to you—you’re fading. So if you feel compelled to change you have to honor that, even if it means losing some of the people you love, respect or have known your whole life.
And recognize that as you change you are giving off a different energy, vibrating on a new frequency. Naturally, your new energy might not match with the energy of who you’re used to being around.
This week I came across a great piece written by the fabulous and wise Danielle LaPorte. I want to share a bit of it with you:
“Of course some people will lay judgments on you. Flaky. Hard ass. Too soft. Opportunistic. But really, how are you going to find your tribe if you don’t show your vibe?”
I love this! “How are you going to find your tribe if you don’t show your vibe?”
Being your full, authentic self, may mean you lose close relationships or become distant from some people.
Can losing people you care for be difficult and upsetting? Absolutely. It’s hard to feel like your tribe is dwindling down. You may even feel like you’re doing something wrong. But what’s harder is pretending to be someone you’re not, faking your way through relationships that no longer serve your higher good, and not answering your soul’s calling.
After all, it makes perfect sense that someone you were close with at age fifteen might not be the best person in your life at age thirty. You are not the same person you used to be and chances are neither are they. That’s a good thing!
I see now that losing some people can often be a blessing. It means not having to hold back on who you are, and not feeling you’re disappointing them or they’re disappointing you.
That’s a lot of unnecessary pressure. That’s a lot of heartache and sadness.
Despite these difficulties, positive effects do happen when you are being as authentic as you can. Showing your vibe also means attracting your tribe of people. Some of this tribe will be the people who are already in your life. Not everyone is going to disappear! There will be the people around you who are cheering you on no matter what and respecting your choices. And you will meet and connect with new people that are on your path too.
This tribe will consist of people who have similar interests, love you unconditionally, don’t pass judgment, support you through struggles, celebrate your victories, and just get you. You won’t have to explain, justify or apologize for being you.
There is no better feeling than giving off your authentic vibe and being surrounded by your right tribe. (Tweet that!)
And this starts by not being afraid to honor yourself. After all, if you don’t honor you, no one else will either. This also means honoring where other people are at too.
“Either way, we know each other better now. And that’s the best outcome of being sincere.” ~Danielle LaPorte
Be honest, first with yourself, then with others. Be genuine, kind and loving with your intentions. Make peace with those who don’t accept it, and make friends with those who do.
Remember, the energy you give off will come back to you so be proud of who are and let your vibe show.
Your tribe will show up a lot quicker that way. And that brings a sense of peace and contentment you won’t have otherwise.
Thank you for this life-changing realization and for surrounding me with the best tribe possible.