“Worry is like a rocking chair. It gives you something to do but gets you nowhere.” ~Erma Bombeck

Dear Universe,

A long-time favorite quote came to mind the other day:

“There are years that ask questions and years that answer.” ~Zora Neale Hurston

I first came across it years ago, when my life seemed at a standstill after a particularly tumultuous period.

At the time, being at a standstill felt like a failure. It felt like I should be doing something, anything, and not what I was doing.

What I was doing felt like a whole lot of nothing. The days were quiet. I became pretty unsocial, except for a handful of my nearest and dearest. I rarely went out and when I did, I avoided places where I might bump into people I didn’t want to see. For “fun,” or really just a way to force myself out of my house, I would take long drives to obscure coffee shops where I would sit and write my grad school thesis—which happened to be a memoir that intersected with this terrible time I was having.

I spent most of my time in solitude. There was a lot of wanting to stay in bed, wanting to eat all the ice cream in the freezer and wanting to watch every feel-good movie from my teenage years. There was a lot of crying and confusion. It wasn’t pretty.

It wasn’t supposed to be.

When I stumbled upon the quote something clicked for me. The previous year had been a year of questions. Now I was in a year that was giving me answers, if I would allow it.

Suddenly, I realized I was doing exactly what I should be.

“If you live the questions, life will move you into the answers.” ~Deepak Chopra

Once my perspective changed, I went a little easier on myself. I was doing hard work. Because when I wasn’t indulging in a chocolate-mint-pint-sized-pity-party, I was committed to some deep soul searching. In my solitude, I was also reflecting, processing and healing. My spiritual awakening was in full force. I was journaling, asking for help, traveling to find pieces of myself that were lost and reading anything that might enlighten me. I sought out healers of any kind. I was answering some impossible things, and those answers were going to inform the next steps on my journey. What was more important than that?

I think we all experience times that challenge us in one way or another. The key is to know the difference. Are you in a year of asking the hard questions? Or are you in a year of seeking the answers?

I think a lot of us face difficult questions. Life is that way. It hurls them at us whether we want them or not.

Newsflash: Most of us don’t raise our hand and volunteer for the hard stuff. We typically duck our heads down hoping to not make eye contact with fate. And that’s exactly when we know a storm is heading our way.

“Not all storms come to disrupt your life; some come to clear your path.”

I think so many of us ignore the questions—brushing them aside or pushing them down like they’re no big deal. After all, who wants to figure that stuff out? Better to stay in place, hide under the covers, ignore the elephant in the room or avoid the storm swirling around us.

But the thing about the hard questions is they will keep resurfacing until you face them. Once you hear them, you can’t be ignorant to them.

Sure, some time can go by and you may even fool yourself into thinking you’ve moved passed them, but then suddenly there’s a knock at the door, a message on your phone or simply the sound of your inner voice asking to be heard.

And that voice? It’s the voice that’s in direct contact with your heart and soul, so when it speaks up, you better listen up.

“Nothing ever goes away until it teaches what we need to know.” ~Pema Chodron

I think for many of us 2020 presented us with some questions. And most of us did what we had to do to simply get through the year in one piece. Surviving was a victory.

Our fortitude, our will, our determination and our capacity to carry more than we ever have before was shown to us in 2020.

It was a heavy load—physically, mentally and emotionally.

For some of us, 2021 hasn’t been a breeze so far either. But what if we pause for a moment, sit with those tough questions, and allow the answers to surface? Maybe that’s the purpose of this time.

What if we stop pushing those questions aside, burying them underground, or pretending they don’t exist?

It’s exhausting to fight the tides of your life. Sometimes it’s better to float with the current and see where it takes you. Because maybe it’s taking you to your destiny—where you’re meant to be. Nothing is an accident.

If you’re not sure where to begin, or how to give in to the flow of the waves because you’ve been fighting against them for so long, start with this:

What questions want to be acknowledged, are hollering for your attention? What answers are waiting for you?

Everything you want is yours for the taking.

So go on and face it.

With Gratitude,