Namaste

namaste: the spirit within me salutes the spirit within you; I bow to the divine in you

Dear Universe,

They say you never forget how to ride a bicycle, even if it’s been years since you’ve done it.

So when I walked into a yoga studio a couple of days ago, I was hopeful. It had been too long since I went for a formal class. At home, I leave my mat out in case I ever feel the urge to stop, drop and pose (and I often do.) But for a while now, I have been wanting to go to a legitimate class, one that would make me focus on my practice for a full ninety minutes.

Being on Martha’s Vineyard felt like the perfect place to start. After all, I want this trip to kick-start my summer full of good eating, yoga-ing and writing habits.

Finding a place was easy to do with the help of Yelp—one of my favorite apps. This studio wasn’t too far, had some great reviews and welcomed visitors.

The plan was this: Arrive early, secure isolated location in back of class, remain inconspicuous for the entirety, don’t make a complete fool of myself.

I arrived early, but from there, my plan went right through the sunny windows of the warm studio.

I was the only one who had showed up for class.

After the initial shock, I realized it made sense. This isn’t high time at the Vineyard yet. So it was just me and this lovely instructor who was making me feel at home.

Per her instruction, I stocked up on blocks, straps, blankets, double mats. I was nervous. What was I getting myself into? Was it rude to just get up, feign an illness and run?

Luckily, my manners got the best of me. I told myself to be open and willing.

I am so glad I did.

The instructor asked about my yoga history and when I explained I had been on a hiatus from classes, she didn’t even flinch. She said I had nothing to worry about since it was just “you, me and the deities” (the statues in the front and in the corners of the room). She reassured me that she would work with me and best of all, she practically congratulated me for simply showing up.

Sometimes just showing up –to anywhere really: a first date, a class, a new experience, the gym—is half the battle.

Throughout the next ninety minutes, she continued to encourage me. She told me when a pose looked good, when I was adjusting myself on my own (“the body never forgets!”) and she assisted me too. It was actually one of the best experiences I have ever had in a yoga class. She reminded me that I was exactly where I needed to be and to give myself time. “It’s okay to go slow.” She asked me not to judge my practice or my body. When she said, “Let go and roll with it,” I had to smile. Surely her repeating my 2014 mantra was a sign! She also told me that her own yoga journey had ups and downs in the eighteen years she had been practicing.

Sometimes we expect our journey to go in a straight path, building momentum as we move, that when there is a dip or detour we lose sight of the big picture.

Lying on the mat at the end, breathing in and releasing, I remembered the big picture, why I loved yoga so much, why it was a regular presence in my life for so long.

An hour later I felt like I had climbed Mt. Kilamanjaro and was struggling, but overall it was the best feeling. Seriously!