“It was amazing how you could get so far from where you’d planned, and yet find it was exactly were you needed to be.” ~Sarah Dessen

Dear Universe,

What a month it has been.

It’s funny how most days can come and go, one blending into another, with nothing significant or out of the ordinary distinguishing one from the next.

But now and then you have a day that shifts everything, shakes your foundation, flips your world upside down, turns your whole orbit around.

Maybe it’s the day you meet your soul mate, or start your dream job, or move to a new city or a new home. Maybe it’s the day when you lose it all—I’ve had my fair share—or the day when you find it all.

And maybe it’s the day when you find your heart bursting with a love you’d only heard about, the day when you meet your baby for the first time and become a mother.

That’s exactly what happened to me on a sunny day in April. I woke up one morning with a strong feeling I was about to experience one of those soul-shifting days, and before the night was through I had become a mother to the sweetest baby boy.

Since then, life hasn’t been the same. It’s been a whirlwind filled with diapers, sleepless nights and all the kisses and cuddles I want (full disclosure: I am cuddling while I write this!) In short, it’s been magical.

It’s been perfect (because even the chaotic moments are imperfectly perfect).

Since I was a little girl, I always knew I wanted kids. I pictured becoming a mom at a young age, but when that age passed, and more years passed after that, I began to wonder if I ever would become a mom.

And here I am. Years of detours, distractions and disasters somehow all led me to this moment—a moment I don’t take for granted, a moment I appreciate each day, a moment that fills me with love and happiness over and over again.

When I was pregnant I often wondered how I was going to juggle it all when the baby arrived. Naturally, I was beyond excited for my husband and me to start a family, especially after dreaming of one for so long, but I was also nervous. How would I work, keep up with the day to day details, make time for my spiritual practices, pursue my dreams, carve away time to write and create, be as present for my family and friends, and keep my business growing and expanding in the ways I want—all while being the best mom I can be?

And here I am. Only a month in. I can say of course it’s hard to juggle it all. I can also say I’m okay with it. I am totally present and engrossed with my little one, living in a baby bubble (which I knew I would be) and I am totally okay with it. I’m more than okay with it. I am happy beyond measure. I am grateful beyond measure.

Sometimes though, I hear it.  A quiet voice makes its presence known nagging at me when I’m not accomplishing everything I want to be doing. But it’s just a soft voice. The louder voice is much kinder, calmer and more patient…

I’ve discovered it’s actually a lot easier, more than ever before, to give myself grace.

In the last month I’ve learned: it’s okay to not shower until 9:00 at night. It’s okay to not make the bed, fold the laundry, answer every phone call, return every email, write the blog post sooner. It’s okay to be so tired you forget what you did an hour earlier. It’s okay to not feel like cooking or exercising. It’s okay to not stick to the exact same routine or spiritual rituals you’re so accustomed to. It’s okay to be covered in spit up, milk and who knows what else and not mind.

It’s okay because I’m taking care of a precious new baby and that in itself is all I need to do—as my mom keeps reminding me.

And it’s okay because eventually all the other things will seep back into my day-to-day life. Or they won’t. Maybe some will stay and some will go. Eventually a new normal will be created, one that will fit into this new chapter.

Life constantly evolves and changes which means our routines and rituals must continually be revamped and reinvented. (Tweet that!)

I usually default to pushing myself, criticizing myself and feeling like it’s never enough.

But for now it feels nice to accept help when it’s offered. It feels nice to hear loving words of support. It feels nice to be fussed over—especially on my first Mother’s Day! It feels nice to go easy on myself—because I so rarely do.

And that’s really what I want to share here. I wish it didn’t take this monumental change for me to realize that I should be kinder and more patient with myself.

I hope that as time goes on, and the days turn to months, and the new normal is created that I can keep this perspective in mind.

I hope that on the days I need it most, I can give myself grace and compassion, love and kindness, patience and acceptance.

And that’s my wish for all of you too.

With Gratitude,