“My yesterdays walk with me.” ~William Golding

Dear Universe,

I know at some point or another we’ve all heard the saying, “the only time to look back is to see how far you’ve come.” (In fact, I know I’ve written about this very thought on here before!)

But lately it seems like things from the past are popping up to find me. Whether it’s signs that are too obvious to be ignored, almost run-ins with people from long ago, dreams that are too vivid to forget, or a simple nagging feeling tugging me back, I find the past creeping in on my present, asking to be remembered or reflected on.

It’s strange how it’s happening. After all, life these days is keeping me pretty busy! Between taking care of my sweet, little, eighteen-month-old joy, to my full-time job as a professor, to running my business (did you know this month Universe Letters is at the Macy’s in the Northshore Mall?!), to juggling the daily to-dos, I sometimes feel like I am madwoman running around just trying to keep up with the now.

So it goes without saying that lately, I don’t have time to think about yesterday, never mind ten years ago, when I am so busy trying to savor all of right now.

This is why I find it funny how the past can pop up anyway, even when you are not looking back or not consciously choosing to think about it.

I know these reminders are here for a reason, and since they don’t seem to be going away, naturally, I’ve been wondering about them. I’ve been acknowledging all of it and trying to sort out just why it’s happening.

Some of the stuff has been easy to figure out. It’s resurfacing because of a significant anniversary of something or it’s something I’ve avoided that has finally decided it won’t be ignored anymore.

And I don’t know what it is. Maybe having a child has put things in a different perspective for me, but I feel ready to tackle some of this hard stuff head on, stuff that I’d kind of shoved aside thinking I was fine just moving on from. Or stuff that I put aside knowing that someday in the future the time might be right to revisit.

I guess that time might be now.

Don’t get me wrong. Not everything that’s popped up deserves my time or attention. Sometimes the past is most definitely better left in the past—to settle, collect dust, and deteriorate.

But certain things need to be dusted off and looked at once more. Certain things are worth attending to if it can help give us closure or gain a newer perspective on where we’ve been, and where we are.

So I’m trying. I’m trying to honor what’s coming up by deciding what is worthy of my attention. It feels like going through boxes I shoved away in an attic, trying to decide once and for all what gets trashed, and what gets kept.

I hope in doing so, I bring some peace to myself or to others. I hope in doing so I reach some clarity in places I didn’t know were fogging my vision.

It’s hard to move forward when you’re vision isn’t as clear as it can be.

And the timing feels fitting. Here we are with only a couple of months left of the year. 2020 has a nice ring to it. My goal is to go through as many boxes as I can before the New Year. I will sift and sort, or toss and trash, the things that have been collecting for so long now.

We’re never afraid to do a thorough spring cleaning of our homes, and I think now and then we have to dive in deep to do a spiritual cleanse for our souls.

Yes, look back to see how far you’ve come. But now and then, look back to make sure you’re not carrying onto things that are way past their expiration date. Make sure there aren’t loose ends you’re tripping over that simply need to be tied. Do the work required to continue to step forward into your future with ease and grace.

Do the spiritual check-in. Do the hard thing you’ve been avoiding. Do the easy thing you’ve been ignoring. Say what needs to be said. Ask what needs to be asked. Just do whatever it takes to elevate your spirit here and now.

Chances are you can. Chances are you should.

Chances are you’re ready.

With Gratitude,