A While in the Making

“Every morning you have two choices: continue to sleep with your dreams or wake up and chase them.”

Dear Universe,

Four years ago today I started one of the most exciting adventures in my life. I announced that I had created an inspirational jewelry line and that I was ready to share it with the world.

Though that was the date the website was published, the jewelry line, like most dreams, was a while in the making.

Maybe the starting date was a year and a half prior to that when I took some sketches to a friend of a friend who is in the jewelry industry, and who helped me get going.

Or maybe the starting date was November 2011, when I first began this blog. At the time, I told my oldest brother—who was helping me set it up—that I might want to sell inspirational jewelry someday. I wanted to know if I would be able to do that on my website.

Or maybe, just maybe, the real starting date was decades ago, when I was a little girl watching my mother design, create and sell her own jewelry line. Was the seed planted when I helped her package orders or stood in line with her at the post office?

Who ever knows the exact date a dream is born?

Once the dream is there it’s hard to remember a time when it wasn’t. It becomes so deeply rooted in our subconscious that it’s a subtle part of every breath we take.

But no one sees or feels any of that. The world sees the final product. The big announcement. The beaming smile. The sparkling eyes.

It can look easy. It seems as though the dream landed in our lap with the snap of our fingers.

What the world doesn’t see is the work leading up to the big moment. The learning that needs to take place, the frustrations that creep up, the setbacks that steer us in another direction, the sweat —and yes, the tears that come in continuous waves.

All of that fades into the background once the spotlight is shining.

There were so many moments before the big announcement, when I thought it—the dream finally being realized—wouldn’t happen.

And then one day, years or decades later, it did. And a small part of me felt like the hard work was over—that it would be fairly smooth sailing from there.

I laugh as I type that last sentence. Anyone who runs a business knows how naïve that sounds.

Because since that start date? Oh. There have been many, many times when I thought it would just be easier to give up, to stop and to simply let the dream die.

But something in me keeps going. Something in me keeps breathing life into this dream of mine. Something in me finds a way around the inevitable challenges, mishaps and misadventures. The losses and failures become learning experiences instead of a dream death sentence.

Something in me keeps going.

That’s how I know the dream is still in me, kicking and screaming to get out, grow and be all that I want it to be—or something even more magical than I am imagining.

I keep showing up.

And at one point I finally felt like you, Universe, were looking down at me nodding and thinking, “Okay, this girl? She’s serious.” It was that moment when I felt momentum build; I felt things coming together more and more.

And then 2020 came along.

This year has been an unexpected, unplanned, unchartered challenge of epic proportions. We all know it so I don’t feel I need to elaborate more on that.

I remember when my first few winter events got canceled, and then rescheduled to the fall. I remember when we all thought quarantine would be a couple of weeks, that this pandemic would be better by summer, that life would get back to normal any time now.

Yet here we are. Still in the same mess. Still no end in sight. Still holding our collective breath that this can be over soon, that our loved ones stay healthy, that our kids keep learning, that our jobs keep going.

It’s terrifying. It’s debilitating some days. It’s frustrating and depressing and every other single emotion one can think of.

But something in me keeps this dream going. I feel even more strongly now, the importance of us living with intention, of being mindful each day, of staying centered and grounded.

And so this anniversary feels just a little more important than the others. I am grateful to keep pushing through. I am grateful for the continued support and I am grateful for another year to experience this dream.

It’s a blessing I don’t take for granted.

And whenever I get weary or feel hope slipping away, I see a vision of eight-year-old me sorting orders with my mom, and I see a vision of present day me sorting my own orders with my mom, and I see a future vision of what’s to come and it gives me all the fuel I need to keep on going.