“Complaining does not work as a strategy. We all have finite time and energy. Any time we spend whining is unlikely to help us achieve our goals. And it won’t make us happier.” ~ Randy Pausch

Dear Universe,

Let me complain for a second.

I know!  You weren’t expecting me to start off with something so negative so let me explain.

I want to complain about complaining.

In general, I try not to complain.  Of course I have moments each day that I inevitably do, even when I’m just venting to a friend, but typically I catch myself and change the thought around.  Usually, I even try to replace what I was complaining about with a thought of gratitude.

I don’t like to remain in a negative space for too long.  I have found that for me saying, thinking and dwelling in negativity produces nothing good.  In fact, it’s just the opposite.

Complaining never motivates me into action.  Complaining never makes me feel better after I’m done.  If anything, too much complaining leads me to feel worse.

This happened the other night.

I had a day where everything I tried to do was thwarted by interrupting phone calls, favors needed, waiting on hold for an hour!  You name it, whatever I tried to do, well, it didn’t happen.

Finally around 8pm, I gave up and poured a glass of wine.  The plan was to relax for the rest of the night and to wake up rested, ready to tackle my to-do list once again in the morning.

A relaxing evening also went haywire when I started to complain to my mother.

What started off as one small comment on my day, led into a tirade of all the negative things that were causing me stress.

Negativity begets negativity.  I ranted on and on, working myself into a tizzy.  I soon was stressed about things that typically don’t even stress me out!

It wasn’t a pretty sight.  Tears!  Pity!  Annoyance!

I remembered why complaining is useless.  It’s completely healthy and natural to let things out, but only to a point.  When you get too close to the edge—the cliff between rational thought and irrational thought—it’s critical to stop complaining and do something about it.

This can be changing to a more positive frequency.  Repeating a calming mantra.  Going for a walk.  Meditating.  Or it could simply be to do nothing.  That night, I went to straight to bed.

There’s a danger in letting the complaining turn into a tornado where you are suddenly swept away into a negative whirlwind of thrashing, unstoppable thoughts, where you feel completely out of control.  It takes a long time to come back down to Earth once you are carried away.

Thank you for the reminder that I cannot let complaints take over my thoughts, my day or my life.  I am so blessed, so fortunate and so grateful for so so many things.

I’d rather focus on that.

Hopefully next time, I do.

I will.

Much Gratitude,

A