“If you do not know where you come from, then you don’t know where you are, and if you don’t know where you are, then you don’t know where you’re going. And if you don’t know where you’re going, you’re probably going wrong.” ~Terry Pratchett

Dear Universe,

A new semester just began and as usual when I meet new students, I found myself in awe of how many know what they want to do with their lives.

It goes like this. They introduce themselves to me and the rest of the class and I’m struck by the confidence and clarity in which some of them announce their major, share their intended career choice and declare their eventual destiny.

Granted, I know a lot of them will change their minds, but still! When I was their age I had ZERO clue what I wanted to do or who I wanted to be in the world.

Zero clue.

The only thing I was certain of was what I didn’t want to do—which didn’t seem terribly helpful at the time because it turns out there are A LOT of things that fall into that category. But I’ve come to learn that knowing what you don’t want is actually a massive superpower when used as one.

I also have come to learn that if we’re paying enough attention, the answer is usually right in front of our faces.

Looking back now, I laugh that I didn’t know I wanted to be a writer or an inspirational jewelry designer. These things were a huge part of my childhood: I was always writing and my mom was designing jewelry and had her own business doing it!

I laugh that I didn’t know I would become an inspirational speaker. I’ve always been a gabber, a free advice giver and I’ve always had the students who need some friendly words gravitate to my office. I’ve always wanted to help people in some way or another. It also helps that I’m not afraid to get up in front of a crowd and do my thing—again you would think the acting classes and my brief dabbling in it from an eternity ago would have clued me in sooner, but I just wasn’t sure how it all connected.

So yes. Looking back I see that it was obvious all along. And maybe I should have been paying more attention to the signs, but I think I was just waiting for some big lightning bolt vision to strike me!

Realization #2478: Typically when there is a big lightning bolt, it’s because you’ve been ignoring the sparks for far too long. So now I try to pay closer attention to the sparks.

But if the sparks aren’t coming, then yes. I think it’s a great idea to begin to eliminate what you don’t like or what’s not working in an attempt to find out what does feel right and what is working.

Sometimes the process of elimination is a start and you have to start somewhere.

I really think this can be applied in all areas of life.

Looking for your dream job? What do you know you don’t like to do? Looking for your  dream partner? What have your past relationships shown you that you know will absolutely not work for you?

Of course this means that once you become clear on what you don’t like, what you do like crystallizes too.

Not liking a fast-paced environment, means you look for a job that doesn’t have you running around hyped up on adrenaline.

Not liking going out and partying means you look for a partner who’s more of a movie-and-dinner-date-night or a Netflix-and-take-out-stay-in-and-chill kinda person.

It also means that once you figure out these nuances of what makes you happy, you don’t question, compromise or settle for anything else. I think a lot of us might know, but we brush those desires aside. We think we’ll never find what we truly want or that we’re not worthy of genuine happiness, abundance and love. We talk ourselves out of the very things that would make us feel satisfied, balanced, connected and whole.

Do yourself the best favor you possibly can. Don’t waste time or energy trying to make something fit that just won’t.

It’s draining, exhausting and creates an unnecessary fog which delays your forward movement.

So many times we’re asked what we want to do, who we want to be in five years, or where we see ourselves. And sometimes the answer is right there for us—an intuitive knowing that can’t be explained.

But for the times it’s not, don’t panic, fret or fear. Don’t tell yourself there must be something wrong with you because everyone else seems to know and have it all together. (Chances are anyway it just seems like they do. No one has it that together all the time).

Instead, sit with yourself. Ask yourself questions. Easy ones. Hard ones. In between ones. Write and connect with your soul. Don’t shy away from the messy, mucky stuff. That’s where the gems are. Don’t be afraid to find out who you really are and what makes you tick.

Dive in. Enjoy the journey of discovering exactly what you want for yourself in every single aspect of your life.

Isn’t that part of why we’re here?

Discover what makes you feel free, happy and like you are living your most authentic truth. Embrace the quirkiness, the uncertainties and the beauty of you. 

And then? Move forward with the confidence of those college freshman who are ready to go for it and not afraid to share it with passion and certainty.

And then?

Trust the unfolding of your path.

With Gratitude,