“If you don’t have a vision you’re going to be stuck in what you know. And the only thing you know is what you’ve already seen.” ~Iyanla Vanzant

Dear Universe,

My best friend and I often get into deep conversations. They’re the kind that start off one way, meander somewhere else, before taking us to a final destination we never expected.

It’s one of my favorite things we do.

A while back we started talking about this question: how can someone reach for more, when they are only exposed to what they know and that vision may be a limiting one?

(It actually turned into a piece I began writing and never quite finished. I am inspired to do so and will have to revisit it.)

Meaning how can you dream big dreams, or wish for something else, if you don’t even know those things exist or could exist?

This idea came up again recently with another friend and I found myself stewing on it one sleepless night.

I have a major sweet tooth. Anyone who knows me, or is in my presence for a half second, figures this out immediately.

Whether it’s the bowl of chocolate in my office, the dish greeting guests when they enter our home or the secret stash I keep tucked in a cupboard (just in case the main supply runs out), or simply the way you’ll catch me in a craving, it’s obvious that I can be bribed or cajoled with the offering of a sugary snack.

Just ask my husband who, during the warmer months, will stop on his way home to get me some ice cream. Or my mom, who every year knows the exact birthday cake I want—“Death by Chocolate”—and who surprises me with my favorite Arabic dessert on a whim.

You get the idea.

Some nights, I want something sweet, but I am not sure just what would satisfy me. I go through what’s in the house, search high and low, talk it out with my hubby, until finally I settle on something before calling it a night.

Why am I sharing all of this? What does this have to do with reaching for more?

I think reaching for more begins with recognizing who you are. It means knowing your quirks, your pitfalls, and your strengths.

But mostly? Reaching for more begins with acknowledging your desires in the first place.

When you realize you have a desire—for something more, or something sweet—it’s the first step in being able to fill that longing.

I know it’s not as simple as reaching for a peanut butter cup or a few pieces of dark chocolate.

But I guess my point is this.

So many of us just shake off our desires. We get the feeling that we want something more, crave something more, but then we let it go, because we don’t know what it is and feel we don’t have the time to dig deeper. Or, we’re simply terrified to dig deeper.

But it’s okay to dig. It’s imperative to dig.

Now I’m not suggesting a deep-dive-dig—especially if you’re not even sure where to start. (Everything in moderation after all, even all my sweets). But, it’s essential to just start.

Take the first bite—the first step—into what your soul is craving.

I actually don’t think it’s as hard as we make it out to be. We tend to overcomplicate things when really all we need to do is listen.

Sometimes the hints of what our soul wants come as little whispers or nudges. It’s that “crazy” idea you get one day while driving in your car. It’s the moment you see someone else doing something and you think, “I always wanted to try that!” Or it’s the confession you share with a close friend, the “please don’t laugh at me, but you know what I think would be amazing?”

But then you don’t do anything about any of these things. The ideas just stay ideas—thoughts that come and thoughts that go.

What if you didn’t let it go? What if, for a change, you grab hold of the idea and followed it for a bit? What if you took the time to see where it might take you?

Bite by bite. Little by little.

This is how visions form. This is how your seed blossoms into something bigger than you could have ever imagined. It’s just taking that one idea, and letting it lead you into the next.

It’s how I decided to apply to grad school for my Masters in Writing. I took a writing course one summer, and suddenly a seed was planted for something more.

It’s how my business began. I never went to school for design, but one day I drew a sketch of some necklaces, and a seed was planted for something more.

It’s how this blog began; it’s how most of my dreams started.

And it’s the following of one idea to the next that keeps me motivated and that keeps my vision shifting and expanding into something more.

It’s okay to not have it all mapped out. It’s okay to not know how to get from one place to the next. That’s my point really. You set your sights, but remain open-minded. This way your path can spring in new directions at any time. This is how your vision becomes something beyond anything you first pictured.

I think sometimes it’s easier to pretend we have no idea what we want, that we aren’t in control. It just feels easier than admitting hard truths, having to make a change, or to shift our lives in a different direction.

But if you’re not behind the steering wheel of your own life, who the hell is?

The truth is I think we can be pretty astute at figuring out what we want. And I think when the mood strikes us, we have no problem listening.

Don’t let the mood strike you only when it’s easy. Don’t listen only when it’s convenient, feels comfortable, or when you’re craving a sweet treat.

Let the mood strike you often. Let the mood overtake you and take you to the place where seeds blossom—where cravings turn into dreams and dreams turn into more than you ever hoped they’d be.

Don’t worry about the destination. Just listen to the whisper. Don’t shake it off.

Bite by bite. Little by little.

With Gratitude,