“Let’s commit to seeing the truth of who we are. We are the only ones who can define what that is and what we believe is what will be.”
Isn’t it amazing how when our loved ones are going through a struggle, we can still see the best in them?
No matter how rough of a day they are having or what mistakes they may be making, we have a vision to see past all that. Within seconds, we can see right down to their core and remind them of who we know them to be. We can be their biggest cheerleader.
Yet, when it comes to ourselves, we rarely see who we truly are.
It’s as if we are looking in one of those crazy fun house mirrors where the entire perception of ourselves is skewed and distorted.
Then we take that crazy, mixed up vision and somehow declare it’s who we are.
Sounds crazy, right?
I often wonder what it would be like to look in the mirror and see the truth. By truth I mean we would look in the mirror and shed all the layers of lies we’ve been telling ourselves. We wouldn’t define ourselves by one single event or story and we wouldn’t be so quick to drag us down.
That isn’t too say each of us walks around beating ourselves up all the time (though some of us do.)
But if we are being honest, we all have at least one story, thought or belief that is rooted in muck and blooms like wildflowers in the deepest part of ourselves everyday.
In this imaginary truth mirror, we would see past our mistakes, mishaps and missteps and see our true, brilliant essence.
But it’s more complicated than that. We are often our own worst enemies. Sometimes we can’t even take a compliment, never mind compliment ourselves.
How often do you speak kindly of yourself? How often do you agree when someone gives you praise?
How many of us are quick to back off, shy away or correct a compliment with the lie we tell ourselves?
Bad habits are hard to break, especially ones we’ve had for most of our lives.
But what if we tried?
What if we chose to be kinder to ourselves? What if we tried to see ourselves the way other people (the ones who know us best) do? What would that look like?
If you are reading this, nodding along, knowing that yes, you could be kinder, sweeter, and more honest with yourself, vow to do better. Start today.
Trying can look like: graciously accepting a compliment, stopping yourself when you begin to say something negative about yourself, or finding the things you know you do well and focusing on them for a change. Or: the next time you are complimenting someone, gift yourself that same kindness.
Give yourself the same generous love you give so abundantly to others. (Tweet that!)
Love yourself the way you want to be loved. Stop the cruel, mean, nasty self-talk.
Choose love instead.
When we play negative on a continuous loop in our minds, this self-attacking monster builds and grows and feels unstoppable.
In that space there is no room for positivity, for change, for truth. The monster begins to feel louder than our inner wisdom. We can’t hear our real, true thoughts over this beast we’ve been feeding for years and years.
Even with all the cheerleaders in your inner tribe, you are the only one who can shift the tides.
Stop the downward momentum. Hit pause and try a new thought. The simple act of doing so will help break that negative cycle that’s been going, going, going for so long. Eventually, if you commit to this, that monster’s voice won’t feel so loud anymore.
You’ll create a new standard for normal and it will feel a lot lighter.
Because let’s face it: the world can be a cruel place. We are faced with gut wrenching encounters all the time— through everyday occurrences out of our control, through work, through watching the news, and sometimes with closest people in our lives.
So when you are alone with your thoughts, that should be a place of comfort. It should be a safe and honest space where you give yourself unconditional love.
Sit alone. Dig in deep. Write down all the wonderful, fabulous things that make you, you. Forget your stories, your past, the could haves, should haves, would haves. Just for a little while, focus on the brightness of you.
Start by writing this: “I am willing to see the wonderful parts of me.”
I have faith you can finish the rest.