“If you keep holding on to the past, the pain will never go away.” ~Jessamine Verzosa
I think some of us are masters at holding onto things long after we should have let them go.
It’s easy to hold on. It’s what we’re used to. It’s comfortable and comforting to hang onto what we know.
So we hold onto it—all of it. The toxic friendships, the bad relationships, the job we’ve clearly grown out of, the sweatshirt with all the holes in it, the journal from eighth grade, old love letters, a gift from an ex, an old belief that’s no longer our truth…
You name it, we keep it.
Sometimes it’s hard to tell the difference between sentimental, sensible and senseless.
Chances are we even hold on long after we’ve run out of room—mental and physical space—simply because we’re so used to holding on that we can’t even imagine what letting go would be like.
And sometimes we hold on without ever meaning to, without even knowing we are.
We become hoarders of emotions and emotional baggage.
I thought of this the other day because my friend shared how a friend of hers is ready to meet her life partner, settle down and start a family.
I don’t know her friend very well, but I know a little bit: she was married before, it didn’t work out and they’ve been divorced for years. I also get the sense that she hasn’t completely let go of her ex. Even though they’ve moved apart and moved onto other people, they still keep in touch and whenever she talks about the past relationship, she becomes very emotional about it.
I mentioned this to my friend. I said, “She won’t truly give someone new a chance until she fully lets go of her ex.”
She then shared that her friend had taken her old engagement ring and had the stone repurposed into a necklace that she wears everyday.
I interpreted this as the ultimate block. She literally is carrying around the most tangible symbol of her ex, and she’s keeping it close to her heart, everyday!
She probably doesn’t see it that way, of course. In her mind, she sees this as her moving on and of course, in so many ways she has.
But to fully let go of her ex and what’s holding her back, means letting go of all of it.
It means not keeping a daily reminder that subconsciously sets you back.
Maybe it’s a book. Maybe it’s a framed photo, a ticket stub, an old t-shirt or maybe it’s an engagement ring.
Maybe it’s all these things and so many more, but we are just so used to having these mementos around, or tucked away in shoeboxes in a closet, we don’t even know they are interfering with our present and future happiness.
And they are interfering.
Energy lingers long after memories and excuses fade, seeping into our subconscious, throwing things slightly off balance and tipping the scales towards the past instead of the future.
But we’re so used to holding on that we don’t notice and if we do, we can’t even imagine what letting go would be like.
But what if we realize it could look like freedom?
What if we realize that letting go could mean opportunity? New beginnings? New jobs? New people? New places?
What if we see letting go for what it is—creating space and making room.
Letting go opens your arms and hands to embrace new blessings—the ones you really want.
Don’t let your past block you from your future.
Don’t be afraid to let go and see what comes your way.
Don’t let yourself get carried away with worrying about what’s coming and what’s not coming.
Trust that what’s coming is better than what’s gone.
Trust in the magic that comes when a little space is made and your heart is wide open. (Tweet that!)
You’ll never know what’s waiting for you if you stay stuck in what’s already been.