“Love is a choice. Drama is also a choice. So the question is which one would you rather be surrounded by?”
If there’s one thing I don’t enjoy in my life, it’s drama.
Truth be told, it wasn’t always this way. For years, I was surrounded by drama: at work, in friendships, in romance.
The thing is I didn’t think of it as drama. I just thought of it as the norm. I assumed this was the way life was: big fights, big rumors, big struggles… you get the idea.
Looking back now, from a much calmer, happier more settled place, I can’t believe how crazy things were. I could write a book sharing story after story that would sound more like scenes from some overdramatized film, rather than day-to-day life.
I know I am not alone on this. I know that drama plays a part in so many of our lives.
Some of us (like me, back then) are so used to living life in this frenzied manner we may not even realize we are. Some of us are so used to the rollercoaster ride of fighting, gossiping and belittling that we forget this isn’t our natural state. Our natural state is love.
And there are those of us who thrive off of drama. Let’s face it. Drama can be addictive.
But the truth is, the one I finally embraced when I was just too exhausted and run-down by all the chaos, is that when you are surrounded by drama, it doesn’t elevate you on any level.
Drama’s sole purpose is to deplete your energy, drain your inspiration and derail you from your intended path.
Here’s the good news about drama and conflict: It requires your active participation.
When you choose to walk away, ignore, avoid or simply not take part in the drama anymore, it has no choice but to fade into the shadows.
Of course, first you have to recognize who and what is causing all this tension, anxiety and stress. Once you’ve narrowed down the culprit or culprits, you can better handle how you can remove yourself from these relationships or situations.
I get it. Sometimes you can’t simply walk away, cut ties or pretend you’ve fled the country and are hiding underground.
Sometimes the person causing you the most stress is a family member. Sometimes the situation that’s taking a toll on your well-being is your job.
Trust if you can’t completely hit the escape button, you can find ways to distance and protect yourself.
You can slowly step back and only do what best serves you and your peace of mind. You can trust that this doesn’t need to be done in a dramatic way, but rather in a way that makes you feel lighter and happier.
And while some circumstances are hard to leave behind, that doesn’t mean it’s impossible to walk away. (Tweet that!)
I’ve done this in my own life time and again. The friend I thought would be in my life for decades to come, the job that I felt stuck in, the relationship I felt forever tied to… gone, gone, gone.
In my head I thought I could never walk away, move on or let go, but when I look back at the moments when those ties were severed, it was actually a lot easier than I ever imagined. Was it sad? Yes. Endings usually feel that way at the time. Was it even devastating and life-shifting in some cases? Yes. It’s tough to let go of things you thought of as permanent. But was it hard? No.
It wasn’t hard because when you trust and listen to what’s right in your soul, hard becomes easy. It becomes the only rational, sane route. It becomes the path you will walk forward on without ever looking back.
Because you won’t look back the way you might think. Sure, the past is a part of you so you will have your moments of reminiscing and wondering.
But you’ll find yourself so busy honoring and being loyal to your future, that you won’t have time to dwell on the past.
You’ll be too busy concentrating on what feels good and what fuels you. You’ll stop thinking about the past because you’ll be so excited thinking about what’s coming.
And the more you feel ready for new people and opportunities, the more the Universe will serve them.
Of course as time goes on, you can always reevaluate if things have changed. Maybe the person who was causing all the drama or hurt has done some growing too. Maybe you can reconnect and start a new beginning. The point is, nothing is permanent unless you choose it to be.
Walking away or distancing yourself though, gives you room to think clearly and evolve freely.
In that space you have room to heal and learn more about what you want your life to look like. In that space, you can decide how you want to live and be in the world.
Spoiler alert: When you’ve walked away from drama, you probably won’t choose it again because you really won’t miss it. In fact, you’ll wonder why it took you so long to cut it off in the first place.
You’ll like the way it feels to move through your days feeling calmer and more self-assured. You’ll like feeling more in control and happier than you’ve ever been.
And what’s not to like about that?
So go on. Stop holding onto the dramas that don’t serve you or push you forward to your highest self.
And start holding onto what does.