“You can mimic the result, but not the creativity.”

Dear Universe,

I used to have a friend who would change based on who she was dating.

One boyfriend was a huge football fan. Suddenly, my friend started wearing jerseys and wouldn’t miss Sunday night game time. The next boyfriend was philanthropic so she started volunteering her time in the community. Another boyfriend loved travel so she went and got her passport made…

You get the idea.

I never understood this. As her friend, I wanted her to just be the girl I knew—who was beautiful, smart and a hell of a lot of fun! In my mind, if these guys didn’t like her for her, then what was she doing wasting her time with them?

I’ve seen this happen to other people too. One day they are into one thing, the next something else. They hop from idea to idea, place to place, in a constant search for adventure or love or work or fun, never realizing that what they are really searching for is themselves.

Soul searching can of course involve all of those things.

But if you don’t know you are soul searching, it can all just seem random. Any idea can sound good. You can latch onto a person, place or thing because… why not?

I think of my friend often in this online world where likes and follows are the new currency. It’s become way too easy to compare our journey with someone else’s and to get lost in what we think we should be doing, instead of just being.

We can see someone’s happiness and think maybe what they’re doing is what we need to do to fill ourselves up too.

We can see someone else’s success and believe their work is what would bring us joy or fame or abundance.

We can see snapshots of someone else’s love story or family life and think ours isn’t enough.

The problem is when you don’t know who you are, you might emulate someone else’s version of happy or success thinking you’ll get the same results.

But you probably won’t.

They say that copying is the sincerest form of flattery, but I never thought that.

Comparison and trying to be like anyone else, steals opportunities for gratitude for what you already have and who you already are. It robs you of the chance to step fully into your authenticity—and living an authentic life is truly the key to happiness and joy.

I find the older I’ve gotten, the more and more I crave authentic relationships, conversations and encounters. I want real. I want raw. And I try to give the same in return.

In my social media, I spend most of my time posting anything that inspires me in the hopes it may inspire someone else—from my published writing, to my jewelry designs, to my own original thoughts and words, to videos with a happy thought or picking a card of the day from my Inspiration Deck—anything that feels genuine to me in the moment that hopefully may positively impact someone else.

I do these things because I feel a strong calling to inspire as many people as I can whenever I can in as many ways as possible. It’s truly my passion and my purpose and it’s deeply rooted in me for so many different reasons. (I’d need another blog post for that!) When I am doing these things, I feel aligned and happy.

And I see others filling their unique niches too. Some of my favorite people to follow are the ones who are just completely, genuinely themselves: my feed is filled with coaches, yogis, foodies, writers, and people from all walks of life—doing their walk.

It’s a beautiful thing to be in the presence of authenticity.

But just as much, I see people posting what they think they should post. Or people posting similar things to what other people are doing. It just seems forced or confused and unoriginal. It feels fake or phony, like a temporary personality someone is trying on to see how it will fit.

And that’s not a good feeling.

I also know it’s not a good feeling to be the one who feels copied or imitated. When someone takes or borrows your own ideas, it doesn’t always feel like flattery. It feels like someone taking a piece of your soul, of your hard work, of your originality of you.

But I’ve realized, if you are focusing on the right things, it won’t matter as much.

And if you’re not sure what the right things are to focus on, I’ll give you a hint: it’s all about you.

Focus on what your dreams, visions, plans, hopes and wishes are. Focus on what you want to do, create and become. Because the more you focus on your intentions and the more you dive in to do the creative work you are called to do, the more ideas and inspiration will flow to you.

When you focus on who is “copying” you, it can be negative, deflating and upsetting.

Here’s the thing. When you are following what brings you joy, more joy will come. When you are following what your creative calls are, more creative ideas will come!

Don’t worry about the people who are taking a page out of your book. You will always write a new page, come up with a new chapter, create a new book.

The copiers, your competition, or whatever you want to call them won’t—not until they find themselves anyway.

It’s natural to look to others and be inspired by their mission, their work and their lives. It’s a key part to learning, growing and discovering. Some of my greatest teachers and mentors are doing the same things I am, but they’re doing it their way, with their own unique flair.

The key is to be the person who is inspired by others, yes, but not so intimidated or scared that you don’t let your own inividuality come through.

Find your calling, and let that be your guide.

And when others start to take your ideas, copy your originality, just send them love and hope they find their way.

After all, we want people to find their way. We want people to discover their unique gifts so they can share them with us!

The world becomes a better, more vibrant place when we follow what calls us, and when we stay focused on what our passions are—even when we feel cheated, copied or slighted.

Just keep being you. Keep doing you. And trust that the imitators, copiers and stealers will eventually realize the beauty in who they are.

Trust that they will eventually connect with themselves and they’ll let their own light shine, not instead of yours, but alongside yours.

And for the people still searching?

I know it can be scary to be one hundred percent who you are—or to even start the journey to discover your true self… but the longer you put off that work, the longer you put off your ultimate peace and happiness.

Eventually you’ll get tired of not knowing what makes you, you. Eventually you’ll get tired of trying on outfits that don’t quite fit right. It’s exhausting to keep reintroducing yourself, your latest passion, your new desire. It’s tiring because it’s like putting on a constant show, hoping this is it! This will be the persona that fits you right.

Guess what? It won’t. Any time you have to try to be authentic, you’re not being authentic. Any time you have to try and be passionate, you’re ignoring your true calling.

The good news? If you’re honest with yourself, eventually you’ll just want to be comfortable in your own skin and you’ll be courageous enough to show up in the world being your most genuine self.

And guess what? That’s all anyone wants from you. You’ll actually attract the very things you’re so desiring, just by cutting out the crap and doing what fills you up.

Instead of striving to be like someone else, to obtain what they have, just be you. You’ll save yourself a lot of heartache.

Because that’s what my friend experienced. Heartache after heartache after heartache…. until she finally took a break from relationships and got to know herself. That’s when her life really began to fall into place.

Forget the likes. Forget what this one or that one is doing. Life isn’t a race and if it were, caring about those things is what gets you off track and slows you down.

Stop going in circles. Stop looking everywhere for the answers when they’re a lot closer than you think.

They’re within you.

Are you brave enough to listen?

With Gratitude,